Questions of the Heart

I don’t know how true this is for every person. But I do know it’s true for some, and it’s especially true for me. I’ll begin by asking a rhetorical question of sorts: Do you constantly dream of having a life that makes sense, in other words a life in which you have a job you love, no regrets about your life's choices, (or at least just a handful and no more), and then finally someone who you know loves you more than life itself?

Have you ever looked out of your window and seen a Kodak moment in real life- a gorgeous girl tossing back her head and laughing at something that a look-a-like prince charming just said to her? Ever wish you were in that scenario? I do, all the time. There’s the subway- looking across and seeing an older couple helping each other off at their stop and holding on to each other as they find their way to their destination. Ever wonder if that could be you? In other words, are you a romantic or a realist? Do you romanticize everything, or are you realistic about life and the moments it gives you? Maybe a little bit of both?
Have you ever wanted to be different, but found it harder to change than you originally thought? It's like going on a diet, but not being able to stay on it for more than a few weeks because it's just so different, in an uncomfortable sort of way... Perserverance takes on a whole new meaning when you try to push through something that's long, drawn out, and just keeps getting harder. It's easy when it's just for a little while, but when it turns into a never ending process it gets discouraging, and before you know it you're waking up one morning and realizing you've gone back to the way it all was before you tried changing.
Or did you wake up one morning and realized that your former character, the one that was a dare-devil, loved the truth, and skipped instead of walking (just because it was more fun), was now gone, that somehow that part of yourself had died, and instead now you resemble one full of fear, preferred to walk as slowly as possible, and was more pessimistic than you ever thought possible for a person to be?

Honest Conversation

Have you ever been too afraid to be honest, specifically with your parents, because you're afraid that even though it's the right thing to do, there's more consequences immediately, whereas if you just put it off you won't have to deal with it right away? However, that also means that the consequences will probably be more long-term than if you had just been completely honest in the first place... I've tried both, with the same type of issue, and let me just say I was pretty amazed at my mom's response the second time when I was just upfront and honest with her immediately. Granted, she was dissapointed, but she handled herself so completely differently. She wanted to know what she could do for me, what I needed, whereas the first time, well let's just say I was supposed to be home for the weekend and I ended up just staying twelve hours. There is something to be said for honest conversation, it's definitely better, a lot harder just because it's uncomfortable and its admitting that you aren't perfect, that you've screwed up, but like they say, admitting it is the first step... it really does get easier after that... well, at least I'm hoping!

Of the Heart

There are certain things in life which I believe should never be overlooked.

Simple things, yet they have the deepest meaning…

Something so small as watching a childhood movie like “A Little Princess” can just make me glow inside and out!

I just love simplicity.

I also love tradition, elegance, and timeless with a dash of the countryside thrown into the mix.

I love the smell of rain in Lake City.

I love the reflection of the sunset on the beach in Seaside.

I love the view from the cockpit in a plane.

And I love to watch the bustle of the city, but I live for the calm of the country.

There is just something so magnificent about this world. I wish I could see all of it, and really get to know it- life is short!

The Bible study lesson today was on Deuteronomy 8, and remembering that the Lord my God is the reason I can boast, to only boast in him, to not be prideful of anything, and to remember that nothing I have is a result of my works but rather everything, including myself, is the work of the Lord and a gift from Him.

The whole idea of building up treasure in heaven I have never actually grasped, I guess I sort of dismissed it as something that I would never be able to attain anyways, “so why even try,” sort of thing… But I believe the Lord has used these teachings to get my attention and to have me realize that I must strive to be like Christ- I must pursue the impossible, and while I will never be able to attain it, through pursuing Christ in every aspect I will be obeying God, and through obedience I will store up treasures in heaven… My thoughts are so scattered right now, probably in part because it’s well past midnight and my brain went to bed hours ago! (Leaving me behind, what nerve!)