A Gray Matter

Have you ever found yourself in a place in which the line between right and wrong, once so black and white, has now become quite gray? What do you do when that happens? Work on a smile? Sing a sad song just to turn the day around? Get so confused that the thing first questioned is now best left ignored. Just don’t touch it, and you won’t have to deal with it? But what happens when it keeps coming up? You try to stuff something, but it just won’t stuff. It’s like trying to stuff a really large blanket into a clutch purse. No matter how hard you try to push, success will not be yours. Giving up is the only choice. But then there’s still the blanket. It’s huge; the quilt smothers you under its weight. And what do you do? Eventually confrontation is the end result. You have to confront and conquer, decide which side is right and which is wrong, and then act accordingly.

I believe I’ve mentioned before that I grew up somewhere between the middle of nowhere and goodbye… and my view of the world was very small. Right and wrong was very black and white always, it was never gray. I could discern what I needed to do and then I would do it… well not always, but I never questioned if what I was doing was right or wrong, I knew it was one of the two. Now I’m not so certain.

I have been out from under my parents’ tutelage for a couple years now, living on my own, in a house, and constantly questioning now what is and what isn’t right. Mainly with friends, really… I mean where is the line with guys exactly, how far is too far when the two of you are just friends? And then how far is too far outside of that? How exactly are you supposed to treat each person individually, since obviously each person will be treated differently depending on who they are…It is a constant question. Life is a maze… and love is a riddle.