When I write it isn’t something that I make up and start to write as I go, well it kind of is, but that’s not it, not really. It’s worlds that I see, things actually unfolding around me, I put myself in a different place and time and this is how it looks to me. I don’t know if that is abnormal or what, I definitely see it as strange a little, if only because no one else has ever explained it that way.
What is my purpose supposed to be? If I write I am completely absorbed within my writing, and it scares me, if I distance myself from my writing and yet still try to write, it’s not good at all. The quality of the writing drops immensely, I’m not able to do what I really want to do, I’m not able to portray thoughts the way that I really want to be able to portray them. I want people to see it how I see it, and yet I don’t think that’s possible…
Why can’t I just write a story and have the whole thing unfold on paper, are my dreams all that I have? Will that be the fullest these stories ever get told?
What am I supposed to do with this? Am I supposed to do anything? Am I not supposed to do anything? What?! I can’t keep doing this, I need something substantial to hold onto, to seek after, to pursue… but wait I already have that, and that is Christ. I just need to remember that…
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