Stepping outside today was a bit like stepping outside of myself. I didn't stay for long, it was just a short trip, but it enabled me to see things differently, maybe even through "rose colored glasses." I smiled at the people that I passed, and they smiled back at me, but I didn't know them and they didn't know me. I didn't try to blend in, but instead wore my green sneakers and my bright orange coat. I didn't care who saw me, because I had stepped out of myself for a bit, ready to view the world a little differently.
It's freeing, in a sense, to be able to walk the isles of a grocery store and not know or even recognize a single person. I looked around, and realized I could create a completely different identity from that which was mine and these people would never know the difference. I could be whoever I wanted to be, they didn't know me, my past, my failures, my accomplishments, or the things in life that had brought me pain or joy. They didn't know any part of me, and therefore I could just be someone completely new... to both them and me.
Maybe that isn't a right way to look at it, but it sure was nice, for an hour or so, to not have to be me. Not that I don't want to be me, I trust that God's plan in my life, whatever it is that He is doing in all of this, will be good and ultimately glorifying to Him. And I want that.
It was just nice to take a step away. I didn't take a step back, or forward, but I stepped away. For one hour I was able to just take a break from it all. And that was amazingly refreshing. To look at life through the eyes of someone who wasn't hesitant to fully live it, to see things, like the different shades of yellow pushing aside the greens in the leaves. The cold air conquering the heat, and the shouts of children to each other across the streets as they went home after a long day of school. To see the world as innocently as it had once been to me, to desire to live fully once more. It is a beautiful thing. And sometimes we have to step away from it all, look through a different pair of eyes, to see what it is that's right infront of us, that's good. When so many bad things are facing you head on it's hard to look around them. But if you step off to the side, you can easily see that these things won't last.
Eventually there will come a time when the pain and trials, fears and struggles, will all just be done, they will have faded into nothingness. Life will be worth living again, and even more than that, there will be this unbridled desire within you to live it to the fullest!
I for one, cannot wait.
No comments:
Post a Comment